Every month when my period would arrive I would cringe with despair.
I felt embarrassed! I used to only use the upstairs bathroom of my family’s two-story house. I had to be as far away from any other person so I could to do my best to quietly open the cupboard and unwrap a pad without making a sound. I didn’t want anyone to know that I was bleeding. I remember I would cough and clear my throat just to try to muffle the sounds.
I wanted the entire experience to just go away!
After my first year of starting my period using only pads I decided to try tampons. After all, all the girls in the commercials seemed to be carefree about their periods keeping it hidden away from the rest of the world. I wanted to feel that way too! So every month I would use tampons to hide my flow. I used tampons for several years before I discovered the Diva Cup, a reusable tampon replacement. A silicone cup that allowed 8-10 hours of carefree plugged up menstruation. I no longer felt my flow flowing but I was ok with that.
Until… I got triggered.
I attended an Ayurvedic talk on healthy menstruation.
The teacher was talking about space and how it’s the key element that allows for menstrual ease. She went on to question the use of tampons and the diva cup suggesting that they disrupt and literally block the natural flow.
I remember sitting there feeling angry and defensive listening to her undermine the sense of freedom that tampons and the Diva Cup offer.
Does she not understand how long it’s taken me to finally feel carefree while on my period? What’s the big deal anyway? Tampons don’t disrupt anything! How important could “space” really be?
Well, days turned into weeks and weeks into months and that talk stuck with me. It was like it struck a cord deep within, echoing inside. And even though cycle-to-cycle I continued to use tampons and the Diva Cup, my perspective began to slowly shift.
Every cycle I suffered with “typical” PMS: cramps, bloating, constipation, lower back tenderness and general full body muscle tension. And there I was shoving a tube of cotton or a silicone cup up my vagina!!!
It’s no wonder I felt so uptight and contracted on my period.
It was then that I began to question my attachment to tampons. Did they really offer me ease? Or did I just want to believe that they did? Could my teacher be right? Could creating space within my flow be exactly what my period needed to feel at ease?
I had to experience it for myself.
So my next cycle I decided to unplug the tampon and use pads! I muPst admit that I had to get use to the sensation of my flow. I hadn’t realized how disconnected I was until I gave myself the space to feel it. I even had to buy myself period underwear! You know the ones with the fullback!
But I must also admit that that offered me a sense of pride that I was missing. I was beginning to understand how important it is to get-to-know my flow and how simple it is to actually claim the space my periods require.
I’m back to using pads now, full time! My decision to get rid of the Diva Cup and unplug the use of tampons has allowed my pelvis to soften in a way I never thought possible. I gave my entire being permission to truly experience the flow of unrestricted release!
And my PMS symptoms? They began to soften too. Now they’re gone! Truly, gone!
It’s just like a river.
Using pads has gifted me the space that allows for uninterrupted flow from uterus to vagina! Our menstrual blood needs to flow just like a river. It must have space to move through its entire passageway from the uterus to the vaginal canal and then out of the body to flow and release. If we were to clog and plug up the rivers of the earth how would they be able to flow and nourish us. Think about it! Well, our menstrual blood is the exact same. It is the river of our essence as womb-myn.
I offer gratitude to my womb space now.
Unplugging the tampon allows this sacred river to flow once more. I am no longer ashamed or embarrassed by it. Instead, I am thankful for it’s natural rhythm and intuitive power to exist. I will no longer choose to plug-up and stifle its flow!
On your next period, I encourage you to unplug!
Release the Diva Cup, unplug the tampon and begin to create S P A C E for your period. Trust me. Your sacred river is yearning to be set free and you’ll notice the benefits!
Happy Healthy Bleeding Sisters!