By Max Van Acker
I’ll just come out and say it: for a solid two years, I faked meditation.
Yeah. While my parents were off living their zen lives, teaching meditation and supporting people toward inner peace, I was in my room pretending to “find stillness” while scrolling TikTok on my phone. Technically I was sitting still, so that’s something, right?
Anyways, here’s the story of how I went from lying about meditating to actually doing it—and why it finally stuck.
The First Attempt: Teenage Resistance 101
It started when I was around 15. My parents (you may know them as the founders of AT THE CORE) had been asking me for awhile if I wanted to learn how to meditate, so I decided to give it a shot and see if i got any benefits. I went through their full meditation course, got my own personal mantra (which I won’t tell you, obviously), and yeah, I actually did meditate for a while.
But here’s the thing: meditation, at first, didn’t feel like peace or bliss. It felt like homework with my eyes closed. No explosions, no instant peace, just… sitting. And breathing. And trying not to think about seeing my friends or Minecraft. So eventually, I just stopped. Except I didn’t say I stopped. I just started lying about it.
I’d hear “Hey Max, time to meditate!” and yell back, “Already did!” while lying face down on my bed, phone in hand, probably watching a video on why we never got a live-action family guy show. I know. Not my proudest era.
The Plot Twist: Rock Bottom
The next couple years were rough. Like, rough-rough. Mentally, emotionally—I was pretty much just coasting, in a fog of bad habits, junk energy, and avoiding everything meaningful. I isolated, I procrastinated, I surrounded myself with stuff (and people) that drained me. No wonder I felt like garbage.
Eventually, something snapped. Not in a dramatic, surprising kind of way. More like a quiet realization: “Okay… this sucks. I need to do something.”
So I did. I started cutting out the stuff that made me feel worse. I took breaks from social media. I dropped some toxic people. I started doing things that made me feel even slightly better—like going outside, journaling, and (wait for it)…
Meditation, Round Two: The Comeback
This time, it wasn’t because my parents told me to. I wasn’t doing it for a gold star or out of guilt. I started meditating again because I actually wanted to. I remembered the stuff they taught me years ago, gave it a real shot, and just… stuck with it. Even when it felt awkward. Even when my brain was bouncing like a ping-pong ball.
And here’s the wild part: it started to work.
Not in a huge, life-is-now-perfect kind of way, but in a subtle, consistent kind of way. I feel more peaceful. More clear-headed. Less likely to spiral over dumb stuff. Meditation actually became… nice? Like a reset button I could press anytime I was overwhelmed or irritated or just vibing too low.
What I Learned (The Hard Way)
- You can’t fake inner peace. Trust me. I tried.
- Meditation isn’t magic, but it’s legit. You just have to give it enough time to actually do its thing.
- Doing something because you want to—not because someone told you to—makes a massive difference.
- Your brain might be loud, but that doesn’t mean you have to listen to it all the time.
- Being happy takes effort. But so does being miserable. Choose your hard.
So yeah. I’m not some monk in a cave. I still get distracted and I still love dumb YouTube content. But now I also meditate. And that balance? That’s what keeps me sane.
If you’re a teenager (or a grown-up, or anything in between) who’s skeptical about meditation, I get it. I was you. But if I can go from fake meditating to actually benefiting from it, there’s hope for literally anyone.
Peace out!
– Max
